A big ol' Boise goodbye.

The last time I wrote something on here it was an ode to teachers and their dedication to the cause of choosing to make a difference in the lives of millions. I had just entered into my first year of teaching with gusto. Now, there are three days left. Seriously three day.

Just three days with the kiddos that have utterly consumed my life. When people ask me how I feel about the ordeal I am quick to say that I am pretty ecstatic that this school year has come to an end. I cannot wait to have a day, a weekend, even a few hours where I am not constantly worrying about school and about these young people. But I know in a few weeks I will sure be missing them, and I don’t think I will ever see them again. Which makes me sad.

And why won’t I ever see them again? Well, we are moving. We are closing the chapter of our time here in Boise. We have absolutely adored this town. Above everything we have adored the people we’ve met and the friendships we made. We feel so lucky to have known such incredible people here. We hope that those people feel so inclined to visit us in our new town, especially because we know virtually no one. (Just a public plea that our door is always open).

We are trekking over to Denver, Colorado; in fact Brandon is already there. It’s a somewhat bittersweet experience. On one hand we are pretty thrilled to be out of the college life. It was something to see Brandon walk across the stage as he received his Masters degree in Business Administration. He looked all official and just dang cute. Plus, he worked so incredibly hard.

But on the other hand we are really going to miss this place. Just yesterday I went on one of our favorite little hikes, and I left feeling pretty sad. That could be the last time I do it. In fact, whenever I do something I think, “This will probably be the last time I do this in Boise.” It’s quite a depressing thought, and I should probably stop.

These lasts are even making me see weeds in a different light. Never before have I taken so many weed pictures and thought, "Now, that is a breathtaking weed. I must capture it's breathtaking-ness." 

Even now I just finished my dinner picnic style, spreading everything out on my living room floor using a green camp blanket, since all of our stuff is already packed up. I ate foods that I know Brandon would not consider a dinner, but wishing the whole time he was here with me. I even would have thrown in some meat if it meant he could be here instead of there.

Extra points if you can guess what movie I am watching while enjoying this non-Brandon approved dinner.

I think this is all a part of growing up, which I knew would happen someday. We can’t always live in never ever land. And I don't mean to sound so morose, but I've just loved our life here, and I am a little afraid of change. Mostly afraid that things won't live up to these expectations I have. 

But, I am also all about grand adventures, and I think this one might be our grandest yet. Wish us luck with this new chapter, or season (I think season doesn’t sound so dramatic), of our lives. Oh and expect to be hearing from me much more, since I will have a touch more time on my hands ;)

Kind of a mess of a post about being a teacher.

I have wanted to talk about my new profession as a 6^th grade reading and writing teacher for quite a while now. But blogging kind of falls towards the bottom of my priority list. In fact, I am still fishing things out of unpacked boxes from when we moved back in August. Also, I haven’t touched a vacuum, toilet scrub brush, or any cleaning equipment since I moved back. Awesome right? I can count on two hands (almost) the number of home cooked meals we’ve had that I‘ve made, and on another hand how many times I’ve done the laundry. So the fact that I’m even writing this feels like cheating, but here I go anyways. Since I infected Brandon with who knows what from that school of mine our bedtime was unusually early for a Friday night, which brought me here because as much as I want to, 9:30 is just too early for me.

I have had such mixed feelings about teaching that I can’t quite seem to put them down. And I suppose the round about objective of this post is to send a colossal thank you to all those noble teachers I’ve had, because I’m starting to get it. Because now I can see behind the scenes and along with everything else I feel, I feel bad for the grief I caused those poor souls.

Because here’s the thing, some, no most days I absolutely love my job. I adore the young people I work with. I come away feeling that I just did something really great and gallant and that I am achieving my life long goal of making some kind of difference somewhere. Those days make it worth it. Those are the days that I went into this profession for. Those are the days that I thought I’d have everyday. (Insert hysterical laughing here).

Then some days I want to throw in the towel. I sit myself down in my old, peeling, green wheelie chair, the one with the broken armrest, and have a good pity party that every now and then involves a tear or two, because after everything I’ve done, it still wasn’t enough.  After the 3 hours spent after school and 3 hours spent at home, and the worrying and planning and just the utter consuming-ness, it flopped.

And I realize I can’t get that involved. I need some separation. But this is my life right now. I feel so burdened and responsible for these children and I care so much. I worry constantly, thinking of ways I can make it better for them. Ways I can help them be better. And I know that’s not my job, but whose job is it? Someone has to do it. So I assume that duty because that’s what’s right and good.

So when my 14-hour day goes unnoticed and I feel like I’m a zookeeper, rather than a teacher, I just have a hard time bringing myself up again and going again. Enduring another day.

But when I see a good thing I said or did sink into their minds and grow into something worthy and right, something that they are proud of, I feel like I’ve won more than I’ve ever lost. When they say they finally get it, that is makes sense, I want to scream and shout, and let it all out. It makes me so proud to be their teacher, and so, so proud of them.

I suppose it’s those moments that make up for it all. It’s those moments, sometimes small and unnoticed, that balance out the amount of time and effort I’ve dedicated to this cause. It’s those moments that pushed my own teachers to endure one more day, because they saw the bigger picture and the importance of it all. So, as you ponder on the person you’ve become, please don’t forget the teachers. I'm sure, at least once, they helped you become YOU, which is kind of a big deal.

A Colorado Wrap-Up

I have a confession or two. When we first moved to Denver we didn’t like it. We didn’t like the traffic, we didn’t like how big it was, we didn’t like how it was never sunny, and that it never got over 80 degrees. We didn’t like other things, those things being ages 6, 8, and 10 (but that’s a whole other story). We instantly missed Boise. But, Denver has treated us so well. Despite our efforts to be angry at it, we ended up liking it, and now I think we might even miss it when we leave this week. 

Another confession, I am not exactly sure why I have a blog. I am pretty sure that I am the only person that cares about my fun weekend, my husbands rockin’ birthday, and my almost garden. But, I have also never been this good at blogging, so I deserve a big pat on the back (I’m all about extrinsic motivation here). So to those who do peruse the pages of my mindless wanderings and hopefully glean some sort of something, here you go, the end of our Denver adventure written just for you (cough Tenille cough).

Firstly, for those of you who do know me well you know that I love a good birthday. I am 100% convinced that birthday’s are to be celebrated and are to be recognized. Birthdays are that one day a year that is your day. Seriously your day. So it should go your way, and just be out of this world. As I have grown older I have realized that very few people over the age of 10 feel this way. Which deeply saddens me. But don’t think I let that get in the way when I come across a good birthday. Especially when it’s my cute husbands. Even though it was just me, I celebrated the heck out of his day. And he deserved it. And he loved it. And all in all, I am so excited that this boy was born because if not my life would be bleak and just not as great as it is. So, even though this monumental event occurred on the 26^th it needs to be recognized, like all good birthdays do.

Secondly, we knew that if we moved to Denver we had to go to Rocky Mountain National Park. So we did. And I would have kicked myself forever if we had forgone that opportunity because it was B-E-A-utiful! If you haven’t gone there, go. Simple as that. Just take my advice, but be warned because you are a good two miles over sea level, which does take your breath away in more way than one.

Lastly, I know that everyone is dying to see the results of my feeble garden, the one that I’ve been plotting since last summer. The one that I knew would be great and produce, and solve my bland tomato problems. Well, it didn’t. In fact, I gave my tomato plant away yesterday because it seemed too impractical to bring it back to Boise. And it had 8 little tomatoes that were just taking form. Tomatoes  I’ll never get to see, or eat. Out of everything that makes me sad about leaving this place, this is number one. Second it to see Rubio’s go (we are a food centered people). I cared for those plants everyday and spent countless hours watching them grow. It breaks my heart to leave them in untrusted hands, but I couldn’t just let them die, you know? Again, these are just plants, not kids, as Brandon has had to remind me several times. And I do realize that not everyone made it. Thanks to my over pruning and care one little plant couldn't take the pressure and simply gave up. Again, as Brandon has said, they're plants, not children. 

And that’s how it ends. That’s the big wrap up. And off to bigger and better things we go. Wish us luck!

This month of May.

I have this silly whiteboard calendar that I use to gauge all of the most important things in life with. One of those most important things is what we are going to have for dinner. Another important thing is any big life-changing event. I get super giddy when I can erase the former months activities and start on a new month. It makes that said months big events seem much more tangible and closer, like they are pretty much going to happen any day. May felt like this. Right when I could write May at the top of the board I just knew that this month would zoom on by. And it has. In a good way, I think. For example, one event on my infamous whiteboard calendar was our move to Denver, Colorado. And although it did seem like a ways a way when I scribbled it in, it came all of the sudden.

Denver seems like a dandy place. It's supposedly known for its outdoorsy-ness (even though all I can really see are freeways). It boasts of being awfully close to the Rockies, which is an impressive sight. If you happen to have any knowledge of the Denver area we'd love to hear it. Especially if it includes, but is not limited to the following: local eating joints, good bike trails, even better hiking trails, and really breathtaking weekend/day trips. Brandon and I are determined to enjoy this summer in its fullest.

My whiteboard calendar also includes the 3rd year anniversary of our marriage. And folks, today is that day. This very day, three years ago Brandon and I sealed the deal. And I am ever so grateful for that each and every day. Brandon is truly my better half. I am so in love with him and each day that love grows even more. Although I am not quite sure how that happens, it does, and it is truly wonderful.

And although I feel like this is a monumental day (because it is), that everyone should stop and pay some recognition to it, that there should probably be some fireworks to celebrate its greatness, and at the very least Brandon should have the day off so we can frolic around this new city, it is not. Instead I am home thinking about the love of my life and how it's pretty much a crime that he has to work and we can't spend every single moment of it together. Sigh. I guess it's moments like these that help that love grow even more each day.

So here's to three perfect years of grand marriage. And getting to be with my forever, forever.

Wishing you the very best for the rest of your May.